Estate Planning Note

180  |  A Legal guide for Lesbian and Gay Couples
other states forbid it. Cremations are offered by most commercial
funeral homes and by for-profit organizations such as the Neptune
Society. Be careful how you specify the service you want. Some
funeral homes provide—and charge for—the presence of a coffin at
the memorial service, even if you have been cremated.
• Many funeral-burial businesses have couple rates, allowing a couple
to pay for services in advance. It’s legal for a business to refuse to
give its couple rate to a gay couple in most states. However, it is
illegal in most states for a mortuary to refuse to handle or to charge
more for handling the remains of a person who died from AIDS.
Estate Planning Note
When you prepare for death or a possible medical crisis, consider
what will happen to your property after you die. This is what lawyers
call “estate planning,” and it’s particularly important for seriously ill
people. After you die, your property will be transferred either by your
estate planning documents, such as a will, living trust, or joint tenancy
document, or by the default laws imposed by your state. No other
method is possible. Oral statements you make before your death about
who should get your property have no legal effect. A durable power of
attorney for finances (discussed just below) expires when you die, so you
can’t use that document to transfer your property. Even while you are
alive, an attorney-in-fact doesn’t have the power to make a will or estate
plan for you unless the document gives that power.
Every state has rules of “intestate succession” defining your “heirs at
law”—the people who inherit if you die without a will. If you are married
or legally registered, your partner will inherit your estate, or a portion of
it, under those rules if you don’t have a will. Everywhere else, though, if
you don’t have estate planning documents your partner has no rights over
any aspect of what happens to you and your property after your death.
Unless you’ve left written instructions, your partner can’t receive any of
your property, decide how to distribute or dispose of it, or arrange for
your burial and body disposition.