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Sample Living Together Contracts
260 | A Legal guide for Lesbian and Gay Couples Sample Mediation-Arbitration Clause #2 Any dispute arising under this agreement will be mediated by a third person mutually acceptable to both parties. The mediator’s role will be to help us arrive at an agreement, not to impose one on us. If good-faith efforts to arrive at our own solution to all issues in dispute with the help of a mediator aren’t successful, either of us may make a written request to the other that the dispute be arbitrated. If such a request is made, the dispute will be submitted to arbitration under the rules of the American Arbitration Association, and one arbitrator will hear our dispute. The decision of the arbitrator will be binding on us and will be enforceable in any court that has jurisdiction over the dispute. We each agree to give up the right to a jury trial. related topic There’s more about mediation and arbitration in Chapter 10. A useful resource if you’re considering mediation is Divorce Without Court: A Guide to Mediation and Collaborative Divorce, by Katherine E. Stoner (Nolo). Sample Living Together Contracts Read this section carefully and look over the sample contracts shown below. When you are ready to make your agreement, use the blank forms on the book’s companion page to type up your own contract using the sample agreement that most closely matches your situation and your goals. The contracts in this section are designed to cover the major areas of concern to most unmarried, unregistered lesbian and gay couples. By the time you finish modifying one of our agreements, your changes may pretty much replace the original. You’ve created your own contract. If you’re at all nervous about the legality of the new document, especially if it refers to significant amounts of money or if real estate is involved, have a lawyer look at it. But be careful when choosing an attorney. Many charge high prices and have little experience with lesbian and gay couples. See Chapter 11 for more about how to find a lawyer. Call to ask about the chapter 8 | living together contracts for lesbian and gay couples | 261 fee before scheduling a meeting. Remember—you’ve already done most of the work; you’re just asking the lawyer to check it over. You shouldn’t be charged much more than $1,000 for such a review. If you have substantial assets, you may want to also consult with a tax expert to avoid any potential IRS problems. Caution Don’t use these agreements if you are in or intend to enter into a marriage or marriage-like relationship! If you are planning to get married, register as domestic partners, or enter into a civil union, consult a lawyer before preparing a premarital or prepartnership agreement. Some of these states have very specific requirements for such an agreement, including the requirement that both parties to the agreement have their own attorney. It’s fine to use these agreements to get a sense of what you might want to include in your own contract, but make sure you see a lawyer before you finalize a draft or sign anything. Caution Signing the contract. Whether you use one of our living together contracts or design your own, photocopy the final version so you each have a duplicate original. You and your partner should each initial every page and then sign and date both originals. It makes no difference who keeps which—both are “originals.” Having it notarized isn’t necessary unless, in some states, it covers real estate. If that is required in your state, you must notarize your signatures and then, if you wish, you can record the agreement at your county records office. Notarization doesn’t make the contract legal or enforceable. It simply proves that your signatures aren’t forged, which can never hurt. Creating a contract is hard work. If either of you begins to feel over whelmed, stop and regroup. Some couples will design a good agreement in an hour; other couples will take a month. It’s probable that one or both of you will engage in the dangerous practice of “strategic ambiguity” as to one or another of the issues that should be included in your living together contract. What is “strategic 262 | A Legal guide for Lesbian and Gay Couples ambiguity”? It is when you deliberately work to keep things vague in your relationship so you can avoid facing a difficult issue. For example, if you are paying most of the rent each month because you make more money, you may not want to confront the question of whether this is a gift or a loan to your partner—and your partner may be equally uncomfortable talking about it. You may hope that your relationship will last forever and you’ll never need to discuss the question. But it’s better to face things openly—even if you have to hear or say something that makes you uncomfortable—than to pretend that these financial realities do not matter. This is not easy work, but unless you deal directly with these questions, you won’t be able to create the agreements you need to have if your relationship is going to flourish in the long term. And if there are some issues you really can’t agree on, it’s still better to acknowledge that reality and have an agreement on the other issues. Short and Simple Living Together Contracts The sample living together agreements presented later in this chapter are quite thorough. For those of you who don’t want such detailed agreements, here are two simple, one-page living together agreements. Agreement to Keep Income and Accumulations Separate Roosevelt Jackson and Alan Stein make the following agreement: 1.They are living together now and plan to continue doing so, and do not intend to marry or legally register. 2.All property owned by either Roosevelt or Alan as of the date of this agreement (listed here or documented by a purchase receipt) remains the separate property of the original owner and cannot be transferred to the other unless the transfer is done in writing. 3.The income of each person, as well as any accumulations of property from that income, belongs absolutely to the person who earns the money. Joint purchases are covered under Clause 7. chapter 8 | living together contracts for lesbian and gay couples | 263 4.If Roosevelt and Alan separate, neither has a claim against the other for any money or property, for any reason, with the exception of property covered under Clause 7, or unless a subsequent written agreement specifically changes this contract. 5.Roosevelt and Alan will keep separate bank and credit accounts, and neither will be responsible for the debts of the other. 6.Living expenses, which include groceries, utilities, rent, and day-to-day household upkeep, will be shared equally. Roosevelt and Alan agree to open a joint bank account into which each agrees to contribute $1,100 per month to pay for living expenses. 7.If Roosevelt and Alan make any joint purchases, ownership of each specific item will be reflected on any title to the property. If the property has no title or deed, or if the title document is insufficient to record all details of their agreement, Alan and Roosevelt will prepare a separate, written, joint ownership agreement. Any such agreement will apply to the specific jointly owned property only, and won’t create an implication that any other property is jointly owned. 8.This agreement sets forth Roosevelt and Alan’s complete understanding concerning real and personal property ownership except ownership agreements made pursuant to clause 7, and takes the place of any and all prior contracts or understanding, whether written or oral. 9.This agreement can be added to or changed only by a subsequent written agreement. 10.Any provision in this agreement found to be invalid shall have no effect on the validity of the remaining provisions. [optional: add mediation-arbitration provision] Date Roosevelt Jackson Date Alan Stein 264 | A Legal guide for Lesbian and Gay Couples Agreement to Combine Income and Accumulations Aline Jones and Mary Wiebel agree that: 1.We live together now and plan to continue doing so, and we do not intend to marry or legally register. 2.All property earned or accumulated prior to our living together (which began on September 12, 2009) belongs absolutely to the person earning or accumulating it, and cannot be transferred to the other unless it’s done in writing. 3.All income earned by either of us while we live together and all property accumulated from that income belongs equally to both of us, and should we separate, all accumulated property will be divided equally, regardless of whose name is listed on the asset or account. 4.Should either of us receive real or personal property by gift or inheritance, the property belongs absolutely to the person receiving the inheritance or gift and it cannot be transferred to the other unless it’s done in writing. 5.In the event that either of us wishes to separate, we will divide equally all jointly owned property under Clause 3 and honor the separate property provisions of Clauses 2 and 4. 6.Once we divide the jointly owned property, neither of us will have any claim to any money or property from the other for any reason. 7.This agreement is our complete understanding regarding our living together, replaces any and all prior agreements, whether written or oral, and can be added to or changed only by a subsequent written agreement. 8.Any provision in this agreement found to be invalid shall have no effect on the validity of the remaining provisions. [optional: add mediation-arbitration provision] Date Aline Jones Date Mary Wiebel