Sample Living Together Contracts

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Sample Mediation-Arbitration Clause #2
Any dispute arising under this agreement will be mediated by a third person
mutually acceptable to both parties. The mediator’s role will be to help us
arrive at an agreement, not to impose one on us. If good-faith efforts to
arrive at our own solution to all issues in dispute with the help of a mediator
aren’t successful, either of us may make a written request to the other
that the dispute be arbitrated. If such a request is made, the dispute will
be submitted to arbitration under the rules of the American Arbitration
Association, and one arbitrator will hear our dispute. The decision of the
arbitrator will be binding on us and will be enforceable in any court that has
jurisdiction over the dispute. We each agree to give up the right to a jury
trial.
related topic
There’s more about mediation and arbitration in Chapter 10. A
useful resource if you’re considering mediation is Divorce Without Court: A Guide
to Mediation and Collaborative Divorce, by Katherine E. Stoner (Nolo).
Sample Living Together Contracts
Read this section carefully and look over the sample contracts shown
below. When you are ready to make your agreement, use the blank forms
on the book’s companion page to type up your own contract using the
sample agreement that most closely matches your situation and your
goals. The contracts in this section are designed to cover the major areas
of concern to most unmarried, unregistered lesbian and gay couples.
By the time you finish modifying one of our agreements, your changes
may pretty much replace the original. You’ve created your own contract.
If you’re at all nervous about the legality of the new document, especially
if it refers to significant amounts of money or if real estate is involved,
have a lawyer look at it. But be careful when choosing an attorney. Many
charge high prices and have little experience with lesbian and gay couples.
See Chapter 11 for more about how to find a lawyer. Call to ask about the
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fee before scheduling a meeting. Remember—you’ve already done most
of the work; you’re just asking the lawyer to check it over. You shouldn’t
be charged much more than $1,000 for such a review. If you have
substantial assets, you may want to also consult with a tax expert to avoid
any potential IRS problems.
Caution
Don’t use these agreements if you are in or intend to enter into
a marriage or marriage-like relationship! If you are planning to get married,
register as domestic partners, or enter into a civil union, consult a lawyer before
preparing a premarital or prepartnership agreement. Some of these states have
very specific requirements for such an agreement, including the requirement
that both parties to the agreement have their own attorney. It’s fine to use
these agreements to get a sense of what you might want to include in your
own contract, but make sure you see a lawyer before you finalize a draft or sign
anything.
Caution
Signing the contract. Whether you use one of our living together
contracts or design your own, photocopy the final version so you each have a
duplicate original. You and your partner should each initial every page and then
sign and date both originals. It makes no difference who keeps which—both are
“originals.” Having it notarized isn’t necessary unless, in some states, it covers real
estate. If that is required in your state, you must notarize your signatures and
then, if you wish, you can record the agreement at your county records office.
Notarization doesn’t make the contract legal or enforceable. It simply proves that
your signatures aren’t forged, which can never hurt.
Creating a contract is hard work. If either of you begins to feel over­
whelmed, stop and regroup. Some couples will design a good agreement
in an hour; other couples will take a month.
It’s probable that one or both of you will engage in the dangerous
practice of “strategic ambiguity” as to one or another of the issues that
should be included in your living together contract. What is “strategic
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ambiguity”? It is when you deliberately work to keep things vague in your
relationship so you can avoid facing a difficult issue. For example, if you
are paying most of the rent each month because you make more money,
you may not want to confront the question of whether this is a gift or a
loan to your partner—and your partner may be equally uncomfortable
talking about it. You may hope that your relationship will last forever
and you’ll never need to discuss the question. But it’s better to face
things openly—even if you have to hear or say something that makes
you uncomfortable—than to pretend that these financial realities do
not matter. This is not easy work, but unless you deal directly with these
questions, you won’t be able to create the agreements you need to have if
your relationship is going to flourish in the long term. And if there are
some issues you really can’t agree on, it’s still better to acknowledge that
reality and have an agreement on the other issues.
Short and Simple Living Together Contracts
The sample living together agreements presented later in this chapter
are quite thorough. For those of you who don’t want such detailed
agreements, here are two simple, one-page living together agreements.
Agreement to Keep Income and Accumulations Separate
Roosevelt Jackson and Alan Stein make the following agreement:
1.They are living together now and plan to continue doing so, and do
not intend to marry or legally register.
2.All property owned by either Roosevelt or Alan as of the date of this
agreement (listed here or documented by a purchase receipt) remains
the separate property of the original owner and cannot be transferred
to the other unless the transfer is done in writing.
3.The income of each person, as well as any accumulations of property
from that income, belongs absolutely to the person who earns the
money. Joint purchases are covered under Clause 7.
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4.If Roosevelt and Alan separate, neither has a claim against the other for
any money or property, for any reason, with the exception of property
covered under Clause 7, or unless a subsequent written agreement
specifically changes this contract.
5.Roosevelt and Alan will keep separate bank and credit accounts, and
neither will be responsible for the debts of the other.
6.Living expenses, which include groceries, utilities, rent, and day-to-day
household upkeep, will be shared equally. Roosevelt and Alan agree to
open a joint bank account into which each agrees to contribute $1,100
per month to pay for living expenses.
7.If Roosevelt and Alan make any joint purchases, ownership of each
specific item will be reflected on any title to the property. If the property
has no title or deed, or if the title document is insufficient to record all
details of their agreement, Alan and Roosevelt will prepare a separate,
written, joint ownership agreement. Any such agreement will apply to
the specific jointly owned property only, and won’t create an implication
that any other property is jointly owned.
8.This agreement sets forth Roosevelt and Alan’s complete understanding
concerning real and personal property ownership except ownership
agreements made pursuant to clause 7, and takes the place of any and all
prior contracts or understanding, whether written or oral.
9.This agreement can be added to or changed only by a subsequent written
agreement.
10.Any provision in this agreement found to be invalid shall have no effect on
the validity of the remaining provisions.
[optional: add mediation-arbitration provision]
Date
Roosevelt Jackson
Date
Alan Stein
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Agreement to Combine Income and Accumulations
Aline Jones and Mary Wiebel agree that:
1.We live together now and plan to continue doing so, and we do not
intend to marry or legally register.
2.All property earned or accumulated prior to our living together (which
began on September 12, 2009) belongs absolutely to the person earning
or accumulating it, and cannot be transferred to the other unless it’s
done in writing.
3.All income earned by either of us while we live together and all property
accumulated from that income belongs equally to both of us, and should
we separate, all accumulated property will be divided equally, regardless
of whose name is listed on the asset or account.
4.Should either of us receive real or personal property by gift or inheritance,
the property belongs absolutely to the person receiving the inheritance
or gift and it cannot be transferred to the other unless it’s done in writing.
5.In the event that either of us wishes to separate, we will divide equally all
jointly owned property under Clause 3 and honor the separate property
provisions of Clauses 2 and 4.
6.Once we divide the jointly owned property, neither of us will have any
claim to any money or property from the other for any reason.
7.This agreement is our complete understanding regarding our living
together, replaces any and all prior agreements, whether written or oral,
and can be added to or changed only by a subsequent written agreement.
8.Any provision in this agreement found to be invalid shall have no effect
on the validity of the remaining provisions.
[optional: add mediation-arbitration provision]
Date
Aline Jones
Date
Mary Wiebel