Sharing a Rental

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Caution
Watch out for illegal provisions in your lease or rental agreement.
Before signing a lease or rental agreement, ask the landlord to cross off any illegal
clauses, such as one giving the landlord the right to remove your belongings from
the premises if you’re late with the rent. And even though they may not be illegal,
watch for clauses prohibiting “immoral behavior” or “association with undesirable
people.” Ask your landlord to cross out the offending language and make sure the
landlord initials the change.
If your landlord tries to evict you because you’re gay and you want
to fight it, you’ll have to go to court and file a written response to the
eviction papers and raise the defense of illegal discrimination. Again,
contact a local tenants’ rights organization or an LGBT advocacy
organization for help. Keep in mind that when an ordinance prohibits
sexual orientation discrimination in housing, a smart landlord will
probably give a phony nondiscriminatory reason for evicting you.
Sharing a Rental
Whatever relationship you establish with your landlord, for you and
your partner the crux of living together will be the understandings you
work out between yourselves. Don’t underestimate the need to be clear.
Renting a place to live isn’t only a monetary investment; it should also
provide you with a haven of relaxation and refuge. It’s worth a little effort
to ensure that you both will feel secure and protected.
It’s vital that you and your partner agree in writing on the basics of
how you’ll share your place. Most importantly, make sure that you are
clear about whether you are both renting the place (as cotenants) or only
one of you is the tenant and the other is a subtenant (someone who rents
from the tenant). Your obligations to the landlord and to each other will
be different depending on the setup you choose. (“Sharing One Partner’s
Rented Home,” below, covers the tenant/subtenant situation.) Also, if you
are married or legally partnered, in some states you may both be on the
hook financially even if only one partner signed the lease.
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Your Legal Obligations to the Landlord
If both of you enter into a lease or rental agreement with the landlord,
it doesn’t matter to the landlord how you split the rent—each of you is
independently liable for all the rent and for any damage to the rental, and
for complying with all terms of the lease or rental agreement. (Landlords
often state this obligation by inserting into the lease a bit of legalese
that says that all tenants are “jointly and severally” liable for paying rent
and complying with the terms of the agreement.) This means that if one
tenant can’t pay the agreed-upon share of the rent one month, or simply
moves out, the other tenant must still pay the full rent.
As an example, imagine that Sarah and Julie sign a month-to-month
rental agreement for $1,500 a month. They agree between themselves to
each pay half of the rent. Now, suppose Sarah moves out and stops paying
her share. The landlord can demand the full rent from Julie.
Tip
A written agreement can protect you if your partner leaves. If you
are left high and dry by a partner in an apartment that you both rented and you
end up paying more than your fair share of the rent, you can get your ex-partner
to pay you back only if you had an agreement that you would pay rent equally,
and that agreement is provable (either because it is in writing or because you can
testify to it and show evidence that you each paid half while you lived there). If
you did have an agreement, try small claims court to get your ex to pay back what
he or she owes you. (You can read about small claims court in Everybody’s Guide
to Small Claims Court, by Ralph Warner (Nolo).) However, it usually doesn’t make
sense to sue unless you are pretty sure you can collect the money that you win—
so if your ex is a determined deadbeat, getting a small claims court judgment may
not be worth the effort.
Cotenants’ joint and several liability applies to more than just rent.
If one partner damages the property or violates a term of the lease, the
landlord can evict both tenants.
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Your Obligations to Each Other
People sharing a rental unit usually have certain expectations of each
other as roommates, even in a romantic relationship. We recommend that
you write them down. After all, you sign an agreement with a landlord
as a matter of course—why not do the same with each other? If your
relationship does end down the line, a written agreement is much more
useful than blurry memories about ambiguous discussions. To avoid
later problems, write down your understandings when you first move in
together.
Below is an example of an agreement covering moving into a newly
(jointly) rented living space. A blank version of this form is also included
on the companion page (for details see Appendix B). Edit this agreement
as you see fit—for example, you can add paragraphs about food expenses,
cleaning responsibilities, or anything else that is important to either
of you. Be careful, though, if you are married or legally partnered,
because there may be marital obligations in your state that trump private
contracts.
Some people adopt an approach other than flipping a coin to decide
who gets to stay in the event there is a conflict. They have a neutral third
person decide, basing the decision on proximity to work, needs of any children, relative financial status, and other relevant facts. This approach can
work well, but be careful that if you pick a close friend, you choose someone who can really be neutral, and not end up a friend of only one of you.
Happy Anniversary Candice and Audrey
Like many of the (completely fictional) couples in this book, Candice Dunk
and Audrey Rabinowitz have been living together since 1980, when the
Legal Guide for Lesbian and Gay Couples was first published. We’re a little
bit surprised that they haven’t moved on to a house in Scarsdale, but with
rent control, they are probably getting a pretty sweet deal on the Avenue B
apartment. In any event, we’re happy for them, and we like to think that
the clarity they achieved by putting their agreements in writing may have
contributed in some small way to the longevity of their relationship.
chapter 4  | renting a home together |  91
Sample Renting Together Agreement
Audrey Rabinowitz and Candice Dunk, an unmarried couple, have jointly
rented Apartment 6B at 1500 Avenue B, New York, New York. We have both
signed a month-to-month rental agreement with the landlord, Sharon Ellis, and
have each paid $1,000 toward the security deposit of $2,000.
We agree as follows:
1.We will each pay one-half of the rent directly to the landlord and onehalf of the gas, electricity, water, and fixed telephone charge. Each person
will pay for her long-distance calls. Our rent will be paid on time and the
electricity, gas, water, garbage, and telephone bills will be paid within ten
days of receipt.
2.If either wants to leave, she will give the other partner and the landlord at
least 30 days’ written notice. The person moving agrees to pay her share
of the rent (before she moves) for the entire 30-day period, even if she
leaves sooner, and to forfeit her share of the security deposit. If the other
one stays, she’ll be liable for the entire rent as of the next month.
3.We intend to live as a couple, and neither of us wants a large number
of houseguests. Therefore, neither of us will invite someone to stay
overnight unless we have both agreed to it.
4.If we want to stop living together but both want to remain at this
address, a third party will flip a coin to decide who stays. The loser of the
coin flip will move out within 30 days and will pay all her obligations for
rent, utilities, and any damage to the apartment before moving out, and
the other one can stay but will be solely liable for the future rent and
must reimburse the other party for her share of the security deposit.
5.Any dispute arising out of this agreement will be mediated by a third
person mutually acceptable to both of us. The mediator’s role will be to
help us arrive at a solution, not to impose one on us.
This agreement is our complete understanding about our living together and
replaces any agreements we made before, whether written or oral. It can be
modified, but only in a writing signed by both of us.
1/13/1980
Date
1/13/1980
Date
Audrey Rabinowitz
Audrey Rabinowitz
Candice Dunk
Candice Dunk